Putting People First: Lessons from 'Leaders Eat Last'

Tweetable summary

Empathy and trust are the keys to leadership—show it to those you lead, and it will be reciprocated.

BIG IDEAS.

1. RECOGNIZE THE HUMAN NEED FOR SAFETY.

2. CULTIVATE YOUR CIRCLE OF SAFETY.

3. EMPATHIZE.

4. GET TO KNOW YOUR "HAPPY CHEMICALS."

5. CONTROL THE STRESS HORMONE, CONTROL THE TENSION.

6. IDENTIFY + ELIMINATE ABSTRACTION.

7. MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING.

8. PASS ON THE POWER TRIPS.

9. DO NOT PLAY THE BLAME GAME.

10. BECOME A LONG-TERM LEADER.

“If certain conditions are met and the people inside an organization feel safe among each other, they will work together to achieve things none of them could have ever achieved alone. The result is that their organization towers over their competitors.” — Simon Sinek
Provide cover from above.

Simon kicks off part one with a story about a US soldier named “Johnny Bravo” who courageously risks his life, day in and day out, for his fellow comrades. When asked why he would sacrifice his life in the line of battle for other people, he answered: “because they would have done it for me.” Point being: “I look out for others because I value other people —whether they’re in my “inner circle or not— like I value myself and those I’m closest to.” The role of leadership is to provide cover from above

Put people first, profit second.
It’s important that we value people over profit, and not the other way around. When this is done, it helps people feel valued and trusted. When people trust each other, all sorts of great things happen… things like “Synergy” — the term originally popularized by the late great Dr. Stephen Covey in his classic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Synergy occurs when people create something greater when they’re together than they could’ve ever created on a solo basis. Synergy only occurs when trusted collaboration is in place.

 

“The whole purpose of maintaining the circle of safety is so that we can invest all our time and energy to guard against the dangers outside. It’s the same reason we lock our doors at night.” – Simon Sinek

Sinek’s Circle of Safety tells us that we should focus on helping each other rather than “one-upping” each other to make management happy. It also tells us that when we know + trust that the people inside the Circle of Safety will look out for us and protect us from the dangers of the outside, we’re more likely to freely exchange information and ideas that will move the organization forward vs keeping things to ourselves because we’re afraid someone might “steal” our idea.

So, what’s amongst one of the biggest habits you can develop in order to cultivate your Circle of Safety?
 

In a word: EMPATHY.
Empathy is a crucial commodity these days, and we need leaders like Johnny Bravo in our corporations and companies; in our businesses and organizations… To truly lead. Because when people know that their leaders are providing protection from above, they can work hard on the ground, without being concerned about the dangers of the outside. (Empathy = the ability to recognize or share the feelings of another.)
– Treat your employees with respect and dignity and you’ll see the benefits (as results) in every dimension of your life and business.
– A core tenet of workplace management, human relations, leadership, and basically everything else in life, is that when we feel hopeless and devastated (like many of us do with our work situation) about some area of life, and we feel like we have no control, then the result is rarely positive (at least until we overcome it).

AUTONOMY MATTERS
Lack of control at work = stress + emotional strain. One in three employees considered leaving their jobs in 2010-2011 (according to reports from consultancy firm Mercer, LLC). This tells us two things:

1. That there are A LOT of people that want to quit their jobs, and/or
2. People feel like they’ve got no other option but to stay put (due to money, family,
   and insecurities about being unable to find other work)

ENVIRONMENT IS EVERYTHING
 

– When the environment at work is one of encouragement, and one that meets the basic human needs to live, to learn, to feel valued and significant, we do more than just survive — we thrive. We soar higher than expected. It’s the leadership’s responsibility to set up the right conditions/environment for this to happen. We do not have the power to “change people”. We must enhance the environment. “Change”—whether good or bad—is the result of environment. And if we want to see “change” — we need to focus less on ourselves and more on others/“the team”/organization/etc…
 

“Exceptional organizations all have cultures in which the leaders provide cover from above and the people on the ground look out for each other. This is the reason they are willing to push hard and take the kinds of risks they do. And the way any organization can achieve this is with empathy.”

Empathy is a crucial commodity these days, and we need leaders like Johnny Bravo in our corporations and companies; in our businesses and organizations… To truly lead. Because when people know that their leaders are providing protection from above, they can work hard on the ground, without being concerned about the dangers of the outside. (Empathy = the ability to recognize or share the feelings of another.)

A core tenet of workplace management, human relations, leadership, and basically everything else in life, is that when we feel hopeless and devastated (like many of us do with our work situation) about some area of life, and we feel like we have no control, then the result is rarely positive (at least until we overcome it).

Lack of control at work = stress + emotional strain. One in three employees considered leaving their jobs in 2010-2011 (according reports from consultancy firm Mercer, LLC). This tells us two things:

1) that there are A LOT of people that want to quit their jobs, and/or

2) people feel like they’ve got no other option but to stay put (due to money, family, and insecurities about being unable to find other work)

When the environment at work is one of encouragement, and one that meets the basic human needs to live, to learn, to feel valued and significant, we do more than just survive — we thrive. We soar higher than expected. It’s the leadership’s responsibility to set up the right conditions/environment for this to happen. We do not have the power to “change people”. We must enhance the environment. “Change” —whether good or bad — is the result of environment. And if we want to see “change” — we need to focus less on ourselves and more on others/“the team”/organization/etc…
 

Peter Drucker once said: “The leaders who work most effectively, it seems to me, never say ‘I’. And that's not because they have trained themselves not to say ’I’. They don't think ‘I’, They think ‘we’… They think ’team’. They understand their job to be to make the team function. They accept responsibility and don't sidestep it, but ’we’ gets the credit. This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done.”
 

We believe Drucker’s statement encapsulates the central point that Simon tries to drive home with the Circle of Safety idea that this book is based around.
 

“Some believe we should always put others first—that if we don’t look out for the group, the group won’t look out for us. Others believe we should always put ourselves first and that if we don’t take care of ourselves first, then we would be of no use to anyone else. The fact is, both are true.” – Simon Sinek
 

Based on the quote above, Simon sets the stage for an all-out analysis on why we do what we do. And with his background in biology + anthropology, he starts explaining what makes us tick through the four chemicals in our bodies.
 

80% of the book is based around these four chemicals and how they drive those of us in leadership roles.
 

Get to know the four “happy” chemicals in your brain + body

• Endorphin: the pain-masking chemical
• Dopamine: the goal-achieving chemical
• Serotonin: the leadership chemical
• Oxytocin: the chemical of love

Simon calls the first two “Selfish” and the second two “Selfless.”

- “Selfish” chemicals: Endorphins and Dopamine. These work to help us get things done.

- “Selfless” chemicals: Serotonin and Oxytocin. These work to help strengthen oursocial bonds, fostering connection and collaboration.

Endorphins + dopamine
Endorphins + Dopamine are the chemicals of progress, as they make us feel good when we achieve goals and accomplish various things. So what’s the problem? Most leaders operate with fear-based tactics like the old “command + control” model of management — which has not only been proven NOT to work, but has also been shown to spike our egos and get dopamine surging through our bodies. This often makes US feel good at the expense of others. And that’s bad. Really bad. It’s so bad that it usually bites us in the butt… What’s worse, Endorphins + Dopamine are highly addictive.
 

Endorphin (The runner's high)
Ever hear of a “runner’s high”? That’s just endorphin surging through your body. It’s there to mask the pain we’re putting our bodies through when we beat up our muscles in the gym, or run for long periods of time. Endorphin was useful back in the paleolithic era when hunters would go all day long in the grueling heat or freezing cold, hunting for food… Endorphin would kick in at just the right time to mask the pain and make us feel good enough to get our bodies to keep moving, and eventually, to capture the prey… It’s likely that hunter-gathers became addicted to hunting, much like some of us become addicted to weight-lifting.
 

Dopamine (The goal-achieving chemical)
 

Dopamine is "the dangerous" chemical — but only when abused. Cocaine, nicotine, and alcohol all send dopamine surging through your system... The reason we get addicted to this stuff is that it provides near-instant gratification/pleasure — which, again, is just dopamine making you feel good.
You know what else sends dopamine surging through your system? A sense of completion. (That extra burst of feel-good vibes that arise when we’re approaching the finish line).
 

Achieving Goals.
Completing Tasks.
Getting things done…
 

The gratification of crossing off that jar of almond butter on your grocery list.
 

That awesome feeling you get when you click that little box and see the check-sign show up on your favorite productivity app.
 

Dopamine is that compelling force that makes you feel like you absolutely NEED to reply to that little buzz, bing, or flash coming from your phone, notifying you of that text you just got from Lucy … and regardless of how many miles over the speed limit you might be driving in — by golly you’ll nudge your thumb towards that little green icon marked ‘messages’ and reply to that text you just got from Lucy, regardless of much of a drunk it makes you look like on the road because you just feel uneasy if you don’t. This reaction is the result of your good friend dopamine surging through your body in anticipation of achieving some task; which, in this case, happens to be reading and replying to that text… even if you have to put yourself at risk of getting into an accident to do it.
 

Dopamine isn’t always rational.
 

Dopamine was put into place by Mother Nature to incentivize us to move forward with what we’ve committed ourselves to doing by giving us little bursts or “hits” of the dopamine chemical whenever we take a small step towards achieving a desired outcome of some sort.
 

The problem though is that even the “good” things about dopamine can get addictive.
 

For example, consider your to-do list…
 

Do you add obviously easy tasks to the list just to make it seem like you’re getting stuff done?
Imagine you're at the grocery store with a list of items to get, and as you're strolling down the aisles picking up your goodies, you see almond butter on the shelf and remember that you’d actually forgotten to add it to your grocery list. No problem. You grab it and put it in your basket—and then you write ‘almond butter’ down on your grocery list and immediately cross it out.
 

If you can relate to doing something like this, you're not alone. And the reason it's common is because we tend to become addicted to the short burst of dopamine that results from checking tasks off our lists—regardless of whether it actually makes any logical sense to do so… that’s dopamine.
 

Credit: thanks to tradepub.com

Offered Free by: Dean Bokhari
See All Resources from: Dean Bokhari